








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1173 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1563 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1390 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1127 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,443 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petrifi3R | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | dxna x( | 63% | 68 |
| #3 | Joke.2.0 | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | apinalokki | 59% | 82 |
| #5 | Varg Vikernes | 54% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Varg Vikernes | 54% | 65 |
| #6 | Jeip | 53% | 93 |
| #7 | MustaJesse | 52% | 113 |
| #8 | Vert1cal | 52% | 58 |
| #9 | tale | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeip | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | dxna x( | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MustaJesse | 327 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Varg Vikernes | 284 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jeip | 210 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | apinalokki | 188 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Vert1cal | 149 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxna x( | +2.78 | 49 | 73 |
| #2 | Joke.2.0 | +2.42 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | Jeip | +1.31 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | Varg Vikernes | +0.72 | 53 | 80 |
| #5 | tale | +0.68 | 62 | 63 |





