








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1021 | 36% |
| Smokes | 724 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 730 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 379 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $381,205 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eNdwe | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Jon føflekk | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Pysjamasmeister | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Tusjmeister | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Alfons Åberg | 50% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bærrern | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Alfons Åberg | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Komisk stor støvel | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Tusjmeister | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Lobbad | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komisk stor støvel | 390 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #2 | Bærrern | 215 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Alfons Åberg | 174 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tusjmeister | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | eNdwe | 71 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jon føflekk | +3.69 | 85 | 47 |
| #2 | Alfons Åberg | +3.65 | 92 | 48 |
| #3 | Pysjamasmeister | +3.51 | 83 | 47 |
| #4 | Komisk stor støvel | +2.68 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | Lobbad | +2.29 | 68 | 64 |





