








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2364 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1646 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1884 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2086 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,970 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnaus | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | lean | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Pysjamasmeister | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Komisk stor støvel | 53% | 91 |
| #5 | Alfons Åberg | 52% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Alfons Åberg | 52% | 165 |
| #6 | Bærrern | 51% | 133 |
| #7 | Lobbad | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | Tusjmeister | 45% | 87 |
| #9 | Lahu | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bærrern | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Komisk stor støvel | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Alfons Åberg | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | lean | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Tusjmeister | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komisk stor støvel | 491 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | Bærrern | 347 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Alfons Åberg | 265 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tusjmeister | 122 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Pysjamasmeister | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfons Åberg | +2.89 | 91 | 52 |
| #2 | Lobbad | +1.81 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | Komisk stor støvel | +1.65 | 60 | 56 |
| #4 | Pysjamasmeister | +1.01 | 79 | 49 |
| #5 | eNdwe | +0.94 | 93 | 64 |





