








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4940 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4161 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1569 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2029 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $733,346 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Alfons Åberg | 50% | 249 |
| #6 | Tusjmeister | 50% | 212 |
| #7 | Bærrern | 48% | 275 |
| #8 | gnaus | 47% | 57 |
| #9 | Lobbad | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bærrern | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Alfons Åberg | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Tusjmeister | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Pysjamasmeister | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | eNdwe | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bærrern | 663 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Alfons Åberg | 437 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | eNdwe | 325 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Tusjmeister | 288 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pysjamasmeister | 179 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfons Åberg | +2.99 | 92 | 49 |
| #2 | Komisk stor støvel | +2.31 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | Lobbad | +1.51 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | Pysjamasmeister | +0.99 | 80 | 46 |
| #5 | eNdwe | +0.45 | 92 | 65 |





