








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2366 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1753 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2006 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1922 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,055,400 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Komisk stor støvel | 50% | 212 |
| #6 | Alfons Åberg | 46% | 222 |
| #7 | Bærrern | 45% | 253 |
| #8 | Lobbad | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | eNdwe | 45% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komisk stor støvel | 26 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Alfons Åberg | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Bærrern | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | eNdwe | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Pysjamasmeister | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komisk stor støvel | 1200 | 0.27 | 27 min |
| #2 | Bærrern | 637 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Alfons Åberg | 355 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | eNdwe | 326 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | Pysjamasmeister | 172 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jon føflekk | +4.49 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Alfons Åberg | +3.35 | 93 | 53 |
| #3 | Komisk stor støvel | +2.90 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Lobbad | +2.41 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | Pysjamasmeister | +2.26 | 82 | 47 |





