








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,453 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4393 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2495 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5277 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3160 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,445,503 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 326 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Max | 38% | 39 |
| #9 | Elon Musk | 38% | 42 |
| #10 | Ogrecrabs | 37% | 30 |
| #11 | Jonken | 31% | 26 |
| #12 | Olsson | 26% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Soffo | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | biktor | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Elon Musk | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Lar74 | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Olsson | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biktor | 465 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | El Soffo | 291 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Elon Musk | 147 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Peel ♥ | 124 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Olsson | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |





