








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1027 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1618 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1193 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1015 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $490,341 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corn jr. | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | Bean Boi | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | P4w3m | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | Varrus | 55% | 116 |
| #5 | ynm.tmツ | 54% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ynm.tmツ | 54% | 125 |
| #6 | Lurgma | 53% | 43 |
| #7 | wag wan | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | SchurLi | 50% | 48 |
| #9 | Kowalski | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varrus | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | corn jr. | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Bean Boi | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ynm.tmツ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Kowalski | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ynm.tmツ | 1004 | 0.41 | 28 min |
| #2 | P4w3m | 213 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | SchurLi | 187 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Varrus | 179 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kowalski | 151 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ynm.tmツ | +5.52 | 79 | 80 |
| #2 | corn jr. | +2.50 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | Kowalski | +0.96 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Varrus | +0.18 | 72 | 63 |
| #5 | P4w3m | -0.01 | 61 | 73 |





