








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1706 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1614 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1561 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1047 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,962 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wag wan | 78% | 27 |
| #2 | Kowalski | 73% | 56 |
| #3 | SchurLi | 62% | 63 |
| #4 | corn jr. | 61% | 36 |
| #5 | ynm.tmツ | 59% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ynm.tmツ | 59% | 143 |
| #6 | Varrus | 58% | 120 |
| #7 | Lurgma | 57% | 44 |
| #8 | Die Hornisse | 56% | 59 |
| #9 | Bean Boi | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varrus | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Kowalski | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ynm.tmツ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Die Hornisse | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Bean Boi | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ynm.tmツ | 1222 | 0.42 | 35 min |
| #2 | SchurLi | 300 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | Varrus | 210 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kowalski | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lurgma | 137 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ynm.tmツ | +5.54 | 80 | 77 |
| #2 | Kowalski | +1.03 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | corn jr. | +0.96 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | P4w3m | +0.19 | 68 | 72 |
| #5 | Varrus | -0.29 | 71 | 60 |





