








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1771 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3047 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2773 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1601 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,150 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wag wan | 60% | 70 |
| #2 | P4w3m | 58% | 120 |
| #3 | Kowalski | 58% | 121 |
| #4 | Die Hornisse | 55% | 116 |
| #5 | ynm.tmツ | 55% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ynm.tmツ | 55% | 257 |
| #6 | corn jr. | 54% | 54 |
| #7 | SchurLi | 51% | 111 |
| #8 | Lurgma | 50% | 108 |
| #9 | Bean Boi | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ynm.tmツ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Kowalski | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | P4w3m | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Die Hornisse | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | SchurLi | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ynm.tmツ | 2011 | 0.40 | 57 min |
| #2 | SchurLi | 459 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | P4w3m | 417 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | Lurgma | 311 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kowalski | 270 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ynm.tmツ | +5.37 | 79 | 80 |
| #2 | corn jr. | +0.87 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | Kowalski | +0.50 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | P4w3m | +0.25 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | Varrus | +0.02 | 72 | 62 |





