








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 479 | 20% |
| Smokes | 784 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 563 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 519 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,509 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Die Hornisse | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | wag wan | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | P4w3m | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | Lurgma | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | Kowalski | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kowalski | 59% | 39 |
| #6 | ynm.tmツ | 59% | 63 |
| #7 | SchurLi | 57% | 30 |
| #8 | Varrus | 54% | 54 |
| #9 | Bean Boi | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varrus | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Die Hornisse | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ynm.tmツ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ynm.tmツ | 550 | 0.41 | 16 min |
| #2 | P4w3m | 150 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | SchurLi | 131 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lurgma | 95 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Varrus | 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ynm.tmツ | +5.10 | 73 | 78 |
| #2 | Kowalski | +1.73 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | corn jr. | +1.44 | 70 | 60 |
| #4 | wag wan | +0.69 | 60 | 43 |
| #5 | P4w3m | +0.16 | 56 | 72 |





