








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 272 | 15% |
| Smokes | 491 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 535 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 491 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,459 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feniul | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | papa | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | schizoid | 41% | 29 |
| #4 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 34% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 202 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | schizoid | 73 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | moosee | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Stick | 16 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | +3.34 | 84 | 31 |
| #2 | Feniul | +3.13 | 74 | 30 |
| #3 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | +2.42 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | schizoid | +2.14 | 69 | 55 |
| #5 | Soul | +0.68 | 58 | 30 |





