








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 931 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1080 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1039 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 823 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,286 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basjuh | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | norcha | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | camel | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 75% | 12 |
| #5 | RiverApo | 64% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Miju | 56% | 9 |
| #12 | 1738 | 54% | 13 |
| #13 | 3ndure | 50% | 10 |
| #14 | Another | 45% | 11 |
| #15 | Stringed | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ams | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | ボムビー | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Miju | 4 | 0.0194 |
| #4 | S v e n | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Tijs | 3 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S v e n | 291 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | ボムビー | 141 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #3 | ams | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | RiverApo | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tijs | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basjuh | +2.27 | 70 | 71 |
| #2 | ボムビー | +1.94 | 86 | 72 |
| #3 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | +1.58 | 63 | 45 |
| #4 | camel | +1.58 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | calu | +1.41 | 80 | 62 |





