








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 514 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3352 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3512 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2679 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3100 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,393,938 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 607 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | camel | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | morale- | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | Miju | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | 1738 | 64% | 72 |
| #5 | ボムビー | 63% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 61% | 113 |
| #10 | atlas | 60% | 25 |
| #11 | ams | 55% | 76 |
| #12 | Daddy fat stacks H.O.N.K.E.Y | 55% | 33 |
| #13 | handikappensorg | 52% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | handikappensorg | 22 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | 1738 | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Miju | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | ボムビー | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | handikappensorg | 575 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | ボムビー | 252 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #3 | S v e n | 221 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | ams | 167 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | animal abuser | 158 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ボムビー | +3.11 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | Tijs | +3.07 | 84 | 75 |
| #3 | animal abuser | +3.06 | 89 | 68 |
| #4 | calu | +2.25 | 85 | 59 |
| #5 | camel | +1.44 | 71 | 68 |





