








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2215 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3625 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3213 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2454 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,208,265 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 754 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | 3ndure | 55% | 20 |
| #15 | Miju | 54% | 106 |
| #16 | Bōsswālk | 50% | 20 |
| #17 | RiverApo | 45% | 55 |
| #18 | Stringed | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ボムビー | 20 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | 1738 | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Tijs | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Miju | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | S v e n | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ボムビー | 805 | 0.32 | 21 min |
| #2 | S v e n | 468 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | Tijs | 326 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Miju | 234 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | morale- | 200 | 0.18 | 5 min |





