








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1996 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1669 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2048 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1827 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,345 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tavish | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | ボムビー | 69% | 68 |
| #3 | S v e n | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | morale- | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Sound | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Miju | 51% | 82 |
| #12 | phox | 50% | 26 |
| #13 | Another | 50% | 48 |
| #14 | handikappensorg | 40% | 10 |
| #15 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miju | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | ボムビー | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Bobzy Malone | 10 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | 1738 | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Another | 8 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ボムビー | 451 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #2 | ams | 206 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Another | 162 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Miju | 158 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bobzy Malone | 126 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tijs | +2.58 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | ボムビー | +2.09 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | Sound | +1.39 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | phox | +1.36 | 84 | 62 |
| #5 | camel | +0.40 | 72 | 67 |





