








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5557 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5304 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3487 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3268 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,448 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | ボムビー | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | Tijs | 66% | 32 |
| #4 | 1738 | 65% | 31 |
| #5 | calu | 62% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ams | 59% | 93 |
| #7 | Sound | 58% | 59 |
| #8 | GoodLyn | 57% | 23 |
| #9 | RiverApo | 50% | 36 |
| #10 | Stringed | 45% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ams | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | 1738 | 7 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | calu | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Stringed | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ボムビー | 4 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stringed | 250 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | ボムビー | 185 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #3 | calu | 150 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ams | 147 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sound | 112 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tijs | +3.80 | 90 | 75 |
| #2 | calu | +2.45 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | ボムビー | +1.82 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | Sound | +1.68 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | S v e n | +1.23 | 69 | 72 |





