








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Grail | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1458 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1157 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 950 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 780 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,966 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThePhantomReaper | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | MC_Madness | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | (sic) | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | [#NG] KennyS Loggins | 53% | 57 |
| #5 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 47% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | KOLO | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | ☮ Stonezy ☮ ⇆ | 3 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | [#NG] KennyS Loggins | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | SNAK3 | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 360 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | (sic) | 97 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | [#NG] KennyS Loggins | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | wizzLe ✩ | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ThePhantomReaper | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |





