








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5342 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7866 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8440 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4691 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,261,199 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PsYcHo | 69% | 61 |
| #2 | ThePhantomReaper | 66% | 149 |
| #3 | ☮ Stonezy ☮ ⇆ | 59% | 59 |
| #4 | MC_Madness | 59% | 83 |
| #5 | Imma Dog | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SpacePugz | 47% | 248 |
| #10 | +T3kNiQue | 46% | 50 |
| #11 | KOLO | 45% | 262 |
| #12 | wizzLe ✩ | 36% | 137 |
| #13 | ImDrunky | 34% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOLO | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | SpacePugz | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ImDrunky | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | SNAK3 | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | (sic) | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpacePugz | 356 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | (sic) | 304 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | wizzLe ✩ | 207 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | SNAK3 | 188 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | ImDrunky | 175 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MC_Madness | +3.69 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | ☮ Stonezy ☮ ⇆ | +3.67 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | PsYcHo | +3.06 | 55 | 58 |
| #4 | ImDrunky | +2.78 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | ThePhantomReaper | +2.31 | 72 | 43 |





