








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,219 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1533 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3114 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2213 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1359 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,735 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThePhantomReaper | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | HALLOW | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | MC_Madness | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 53% | 182 |
| #5 | KOLO | 49% | 261 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOLO | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | HALLOW | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | wizzLe ✩ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | somb | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 231 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | KOLO | 199 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | somb | 160 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | HALLOW | 137 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | wizzLe ✩ | 65 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThePhantomReaper | +4.39 | 72 | 44 |
| #2 | MC_Madness | +4.22 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | HALLOW | +3.46 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | somb | +2.04 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | +0.99 | 42 | 60 |





