








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 733 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17432 | 33% |
| Smokes | 15678 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 9012 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 10386 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,498,063 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 953 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [#NG] KennyS Loggins | 55% | 251 |
| #2 | Broskiii | 53% | 283 |
| #3 | Hibijibijaba | 53% | 175 |
| #4 | BrassMonkey | 52% | 298 |
| #5 | particle | 51% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Generalzod03 | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | particle | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | [#NG] KennyS Loggins | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Hibijibijaba | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Broskiii | 6 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BrassMonkey | 710 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | Generalzod03 | 470 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Broskiii | 452 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | [#NG] KennyS Loggins | 442 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | particle | 397 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broskiii | +2.67 | 77 | 53 |
| #2 | (sic) | +1.58 | 64 | 69 |
| #3 | particle | +1.48 | 71 | 48 |
| #4 | Hibijibijaba | +0.87 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | +0.14 | 39 | 71 |





