








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 694 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10996 | 39% |
| Smokes | 6437 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5708 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4838 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,735,245 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ETHVN | 50% | 107 |
| #2 | PASCAL | 49% | 236 |
| #3 | LilSwe | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | SEB | 47% | 300 |
| #5 | Likeabossow | 47% | 445 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LilSwe | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | SEB | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | PASCAL | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Likeabossow | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Pickled Labia | 5 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PASCAL | 1022 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | ETHVN | 482 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | Likeabossow | 442 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #4 | SEB | 415 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | LilSwe | 288 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza | +1.35 | 60 | 64 |
| #2 | SEB | +0.87 | 56 | 53 |
| #3 | PASCAL | +0.33 | 61 | 65 |
| #4 | LilSwe | -0.18 | 52 | 49 |
| #5 | Pickled Labia | -0.45 | 43 | 44 |





