








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2747 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1325 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2540 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1578 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,366 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PASCAL | 52% | 56 |
| #2 | ETHVN | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | SEB | 50% | 84 |
| #4 | Likeabossow | 49% | 97 |
| #5 | Tompaah | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Hazza | 47% | 76 |
| #7 | RaaNeY | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | Pickled Labia | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | Haxum | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | benyi | 9% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Tompaah | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | benyi | 5 | 0.0162 |
| #4 | SEB | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | PASCAL | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza | 259 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | PASCAL | 215 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tompaah | 129 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | SEB | 104 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ETHVN | 94 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaaNeY | +3.21 | 56 | 54 |
| #2 | Haxum | +1.92 | 86 | 51 |
| #3 | Hazza | +1.72 | 61 | 62 |
| #4 | Pickled Labia | +0.82 | 52 | 49 |
| #5 | LilSwe | +0.66 | 54 | 48 |





