








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 750 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5419 | 17% |
| Smokes | 10586 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 9873 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6265 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,219,424 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LilSwe | 49% | 97 |
| #2 | SEB | 47% | 427 |
| #3 | Hazza | 47% | 445 |
| #4 | PASCAL | 44% | 141 |
| #5 | Pickled Labia | 43% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza | 28 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | SEB | 14 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | LilSwe | 14 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Pickled Labia | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | PASCAL | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza | 1514 | 0.16 | 39 min |
| #2 | SEB | 563 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | PASCAL | 541 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | LilSwe | 343 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | ETHVN | 252 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza | +1.59 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | SEB | +0.84 | 56 | 51 |
| #3 | PASCAL | +0.50 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | LilSwe | -0.11 | 51 | 48 |
| #5 | Pickled Labia | -0.39 | 44 | 45 |





