








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1851 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1496 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1746 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1545 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,725 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | PsihinisLigonis | 48% | 46 |
| #8 | nRGee.grx +× | 46% | 26 |
| #9 | sTƐaMy | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | Zeolik | 30% | 10 |
| #11 | Paulino | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swe_ex | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Xander | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | KingAkashi | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | PsihinisLigonis | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Paulino | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | 541 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | Swe_ex | 343 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | KingAkashi | 124 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | dagnar | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | PsihinisLigonis | 102 | 0.11 | 3 min |





