








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1780 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1636 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2602 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2265 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,067,975 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drink | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | Swe_ex | 58% | 130 |
| #3 | dagnar | 56% | 86 |
| #4 | nRGee.grx +× | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Linkolini | 54% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Xander | 54% | 197 |
| #7 | PsihinisLigonis | 50% | 152 |
| #8 | sTƐaMy | 49% | 57 |
| #9 | Kep5ny5 | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | Paulino | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | PsihinisLigonis | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Swe_ex | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Linkolini | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Paulino | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | 903 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #2 | Swe_ex | 531 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | PsihinisLigonis | 427 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Linkolini | 393 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #5 | dagnar | 247 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | +3.13 | 82 | 77 |
| #2 | KingAkashi | +0.74 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | Swe_ex | +0.25 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | PsihinisLigonis | +0.04 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | drink | -0.55 | 42 | 76 |





