








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2491 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2024 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1815 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2051 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,529 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drink | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | nRGee.grx +× | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | sTƐaMy | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | KingAkashi | 58% | 130 |
| #5 | dagnar | 57% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | dagnar | 57% | 69 |
| #6 | Xander | 56% | 167 |
| #7 | PsihinisLigonis | 53% | 68 |
| #8 | Linkolini | 51% | 85 |
| #9 | Paulino | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | KingAkashi | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Linkolini | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | dagnar | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | PsihinisLigonis | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | 748 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | Linkolini | 352 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | KingAkashi | 214 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | dagnar | 195 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | PsihinisLigonis | 149 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | +3.11 | 82 | 78 |
| #2 | Swe_ex | +0.57 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | KingAkashi | +0.27 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | sTƐaMy | -0.48 | 75 | 43 |
| #5 | Linkolini | -0.55 | 43 | 81 |





