








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8395 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8203 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7851 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8171 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,853,967 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rikker | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | KingAkashi | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | Starmiya | 62% | 123 |
| #4 | Xander | 59% | 58 |
| #5 | Akrepi | 57% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Xyan | 46% | 123 |
| #15 | flux | 46% | 183 |
| #16 | TimOT | 46% | 243 |
| #17 | ashley | 40% | 52 |
| #18 | Notelracbeck | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Opzy | 28 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Beatwood | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | TimOT | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Akrepi | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ray | 5 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TimOT | 1237 | 0.24 | 36 min |
| #2 | Beatwood | 762 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | Opzy | 443 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | M16man66 | 429 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #5 | flux | 380 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | +3.77 | 85 | 77 |
| #2 | Akrepi | +2.46 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | Xyan | +1.71 | 80 | 76 |
| #4 | Starmiya | +1.67 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +1.23 | 68 | 61 |





