








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1620 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6615 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7073 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5009 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1437 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,586 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 67% | 69 |
| #2 | mzinho | 65% | 113 |
| #3 | racc | 62% | 294 |
| #4 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 61% | 114 |
| #5 | Quentin2Quonky | 60% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quentin2Quonky | 518 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | racc | 413 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | mzinho | 192 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 165 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jasper | 55 | 0.04 | 2 min |





