








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5025 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3758 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2967 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2524 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $830,906 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mzinho | 66% | 58 |
| #2 | Zanmang Loopy | 60% | 188 |
| #3 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 54% | 102 |
| #4 | Jasper | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | racc | 44% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Young YN | 43% | 42 |
| #8 | uikoru | 41% | 32 |
| #9 | i crippled | 37% | 71 |
| #10 | Zyn Diesel | 36% | 22 |
| #11 | BurritoKyle | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | racc | 25 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Zanmang Loopy | 19 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Jasper | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | uikoru | 5 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zanmang Loopy | 480 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | racc | 441 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | 166 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | mzinho | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jasper | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zanmang Loopy | +7.94 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Jasper | +4.46 | 60 | 37 |
| #3 | ♥ MilkedCow ♥ | +1.40 | 55 | 37 |
| #4 | Zyn Diesel | +0.92 | 48 | 51 |
| #5 | mzinho | +0.34 | 43 | 57 |





