








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 752 | 28% |
| Smokes | 642 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 210 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,603 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enferno | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | Cauz :/ | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Snôòpy | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | Cream | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snôòpy | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | :) | 3 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Cauz :/ | 2 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 2 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | Enferno | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enferno | 151 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Snôòpy | 143 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cream | 124 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 24 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | :) | 19 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enferno | +1.59 | 63 | 63 |
| #2 | Cream | +0.59 | 48 | 63 |
| #3 | Cauz :/ | -0.10 | 84 | 57 |
| #4 | Snôòpy | -0.19 | 59 | 52 |
| #5 | :) | -0.31 | 36 | 55 |





