








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1068 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 494 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Renown | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6877 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6928 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6131 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5090 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,701,468 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggro | 56% | 80 |
| #2 | Kristen pesto | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Snôòpy | 51% | 481 |
| #4 | Marx3n | 50% | 357 |
| #5 | Promiscuous Boy | 49% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kristen pesto | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Snôòpy | 51% | 481 |
| #4 | Marx3n | 50% | 357 |
| #5 | Promiscuous Boy | 49% | 163 |
| #6 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 47% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snôòpy | 34 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 20 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Marx3n | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | aggro | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Promiscuous Boy | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snôòpy | 1272 | 0.12 | 33 min |
| #2 | Marx3n | 782 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 666 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #4 | aggro | 198 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Promiscuous Boy | 168 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggro | +3.00 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | Promiscuous Boy | +2.93 | 76 | 47 |
| #3 | Enferno | +0.93 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | Kristen pesto | -0.47 | 67 | 37 |
| #5 | Snôòpy | -0.87 | 57 | 51 |





