








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3342 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2279 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2884 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2595 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,749,774 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 533 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggro | 53% | 72 |
| #2 | Snôòpy | 51% | 255 |
| #3 | Promiscuous Boy | 51% | 154 |
| #4 | Enferno | 50% | 357 |
| #5 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 46% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggro | 53% | 72 |
| #2 | Snôòpy | 51% | 255 |
| #3 | Promiscuous Boy | 51% | 154 |
| #4 | Enferno | 50% | 357 |
| #5 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 46% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enferno | 28 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Snôòpy | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | aggro | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Promiscuous Boy | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enferno | 1209 | 0.16 | 32 min |
| #2 | Snôòpy | 710 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 523 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | aggro | 151 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Promiscuous Boy | 142 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Promiscuous Boy | +2.87 | 75 | 46 |
| #2 | aggro | +2.77 | 87 | 53 |
| #3 | Enferno | +0.98 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | Snôòpy | -0.77 | 58 | 48 |
| #5 | Marx3n | -1.34 | 54 | 49 |





