








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 601 | 20% |
| Smokes | 544 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1018 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 889 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,587 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jelloeh | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Eläkeläinen Mr Coldhand | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Röökiboss | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Dullerturtle | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Nukku-Pasi | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 30sekRipe | 34% | 61 |
| #10 | rafal | 34% | 38 |
| #11 | oMISTAJa | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | joe | 33% | 51 |
| #13 | kosunenb | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kosunenb | 4 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | joe | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | kikkeli | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | rafal | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | 30sekRipe | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 30sekRipe | 168 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | rafal | 156 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | kikkeli | 145 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | joe | 142 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Röökiboss | 75 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | +6.51 | 91 | 82 |
| #2 | oMISTAJa | +4.49 | 38 | 74 |
| #3 | KovaArska | +1.03 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | kosunenb | -0.01 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | kace | -0.40 | 64 | 63 |





