








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Esplay | 23 matches | 2,237 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2087 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2560 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3096 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2494 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,773 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rogzëë | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | matohäntä | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | JetsuTNT | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | vilkku | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | juuhan 瀑 | 62% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | eedubbi | 56% | 52 |
| #11 | L4de | 50% | 12 |
| #12 | LIMAINABOMAYE | 45% | 44 |
| #13 | ned | 42% | 26 |
| #14 | Theozu | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honda | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | tpsaaa | 9 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | juuhan 瀑 | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | eedubbi | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Hartsah11 | 5 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eedubbi | 221 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | honda | 206 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | PeKSulli | 206 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | juuhan 瀑 | 174 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | LIMAINABOMAYE | 123 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eedubbi | +4.24 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | tpsaaa | +2.17 | 58 | 56 |
| #3 | VIGGEE 👑 | +1.93 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | matohäntä | +1.50 | 75 | 73 |
| #5 | Hartsah11 | +0.84 | 67 | 63 |





