








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 545 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1141 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 922 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1537 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $793,848 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kung Fu Kenny | 61% | 59 |
| #2 | DUDE | 54% | 90 |
| #3 | 滾開 CS.MONEY | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | SCHNEE | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | 51% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | DUDE | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Rammo ya salamE | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Dino | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Kung Fu Kenny | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | 471 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | DUDE | 374 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | J.KOB | 291 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Rammo ya salamE | 274 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Dino | 183 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | +2.04 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | J.KOB | +1.71 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | Kung Fu Kenny | +1.45 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | SCHNEE | +1.18 | 71 | 75 |
| #5 | 滾開 CS.MONEY | +1.11 | 67 | 56 |





