








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2330 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2781 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2947 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2799 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,273,302 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tk | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | jumpi^x2 | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | milesyo | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | pauljs | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | 滾開 CS.MONEY | 54% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | J.KOB | 49% | 142 |
| #11 | Rammo ya salamE | 45% | 183 |
| #12 | Alamedin | 39% | 23 |
| #13 | Kung Fu Kenny | 36% | 67 |
| #14 | Dino | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Rammo ya salamE | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | DUDE | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Dosch | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | J.KOB | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DUDE | 494 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Rammo ya salamE | 375 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | 357 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | 滾開 CS.MONEY | 339 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | J.KOB | 308 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pauljs | +3.04 | 95 | 54 |
| #2 | SCHNEE | +2.63 | 70 | 71 |
| #3 | jumpi^x2 | +1.90 | 93 | 56 |
| #4 | milesyo | +1.81 | 67 | 49 |
| #5 | J.KOB | +1.68 | 68 | 59 |





