








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3495 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2829 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4257 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4297 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $956,924 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dabearSHARK | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Eclipse | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Pancake | 63% | 35 |
| #4 | NarSoSerious | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | vYriese | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | DrollerZebra | 51% | 67 |
| #10 | MB1 | 51% | 67 |
| #11 | BAKA | 48% | 27 |
| #12 | VikesCatgirl | 48% | 21 |
| #13 | BananA | 38% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skimix | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | DrollerZebra | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Pancake | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | BAKA | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | vYriese | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skimix | 853 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | BananA | 278 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | DrollerZebra | 185 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | MB1 | 145 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | R1K0CH3T | 123 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancake | +5.69 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | Goober -iwnl- | +2.00 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | MB1 | +1.75 | 63 | 50 |
| #4 | dabearSHARK | +0.54 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | vYriese | +0.25 | 59 | 71 |





