








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4492 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4293 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3916 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4225 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,245,380 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Goober -iwnl- | 51% | 67 |
| #9 | An-D | 50% | 32 |
| #10 | Margo | 48% | 50 |
| #11 | gully* | 47% | 30 |
| #12 | immortaL | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beyond | 1065 | 0.32 | 30 min |
| #2 | BEAST | 472 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | DAB | 443 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | bobob14831 | 293 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | frosty | 279 | 0.30 | 9 min |





