








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2580 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2580 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2520 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2085 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,316 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djtl | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Skimix | 55% | 74 |
| #3 | Goober -iwnl- | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | Moopz | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | Sinbad | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dippingsauce | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Cagey | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | holycow | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Skimix | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Goober -iwnl- | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skimix | 357 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✪s0rtie | 205 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | djtl | 151 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Moopz | 148 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | CraMdeN | 146 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪s0rtie | +5.23 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | Goober -iwnl- | +1.84 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | Cagey | +1.52 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | MPHALLDAY | +1.32 | 44 | 69 |
| #5 | Ericcc | +1.30 | 76 | 66 |





