








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6452 | 44% |
| Smokes | 4601 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 360 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 3191 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,034,228 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SunWaffle26 | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Pancake | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Goober -iwnl- | 55% | 191 |
| #4 | R1K0CH3T | 55% | 74 |
| #5 | csr | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | NarSoSerious | 49% | 85 |
| #10 | TheLilGeneral | 48% | 80 |
| #11 | BAKA | 45% | 55 |
| #12 | dabearSHARK | 45% | 49 |
| #13 | BananA | 40% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goober -iwnl- | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Pancake | 8 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | DrollerZebra | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | matsu | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | TheLilGeneral | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goober -iwnl- | 501 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | BananA | 376 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | NarSoSerious | 361 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | TheLilGeneral | 249 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | R1K0CH3T | 217 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancake | +4.92 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | Goober -iwnl- | +2.11 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | csr | +2.10 | 87 | 60 |
| #4 | dabearSHARK | +0.96 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | BAKA | +0.66 | 72 | 57 |





