








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 512 | 43% |
| Smokes | 246 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 120 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 326 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,825 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 926 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinesien | 20 | 0.0526 |
| #2 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | 12 | 0.0255 |
| #3 | pesse jinkman | 7 | 0.0350 |
| #4 | granen | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | xs | 4 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | granen | 107 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | xs | 68 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | 68 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kinesien | 66 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | baltic vacuum | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |





