








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 834 | 33% |
| Smokes | 678 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 363 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 687 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,938 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samaritans | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | swen | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Snart Dooly | 53% | 59 |
| #4 | DanielS | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Shiesty | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mirage and Me | 43% | 44 |
| #8 | Mr. Trackpad | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | nathan | 33% | 12 |
| #10 | GoldTerlets | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | dam | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mirage and Me | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Snart Dooly | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Mr. Trackpad | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | nathan | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | GoldTerlets | 1 | 0.0128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snart Dooly | 198 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Samaritans | 106 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mr. Trackpad | 74 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mirage and Me | 65 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Roxin | 54 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swen | +1.62 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | DanielS | +1.47 | 43 | 77 |
| #3 | dam | +1.19 | 95 | 33 |
| #4 | Dill | +0.28 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | Snart Dooly | +0.13 | 85 | 50 |





