








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1896 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1812 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1483 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1544 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,065,192 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | autismax | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | brandon | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Dill | 53% | 59 |
| #4 | Samaritans | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | nathan | 49% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | swen | 48% | 46 |
| #7 | Mirage and Me | 46% | 92 |
| #8 | Roxin | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | Mr. Trackpad | 41% | 81 |
| #10 | Shiesty | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mirage and Me | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Samaritans | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Dill | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | swen | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | nathan | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nathan | 306 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Samaritans | 293 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dill | 257 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mr. Trackpad | 164 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | swen | 144 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | autismax | +2.19 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | swen | +0.84 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | Mirage and Me | +0.62 | 80 | 49 |
| #4 | Snart Dooly | +0.57 | 81 | 53 |
| #5 | nathan | +0.22 | 64 | 73 |





