








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 760 | 24% |
| Smokes | 901 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 856 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,722 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Roxin | 44% | 45 |
| #12 | Dill | 43% | 44 |
| #13 | Mr. Trackpad | 43% | 65 |
| #14 | nathan | 29% | 14 |
| #15 | dam | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snart Dooly | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Mr. Trackpad | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Shiesty | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | DanielS | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Samaritans | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snart Dooly | 292 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Samaritans | 280 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | DanielS | 183 | 0.43 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dill | 172 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr. Trackpad | 134 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swen | +2.03 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | autismax | +1.64 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | Mirage and Me | +1.31 | 81 | 48 |
| #4 | dam | +0.31 | 93 | 39 |
| #5 | Dill | +0.26 | 75 | 59 |





