








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1477 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1585 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1424 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1098 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,299 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Mr. Trackpad | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Mirage and Me | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Dill | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | nathan | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bray | 45% | 38 |
| #9 | randy | 44% | 32 |
| #10 | Frost_Champ | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | Nate | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | welcometotheER | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snart Dooly | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Mr. Trackpad | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | bray | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | randy | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Frost_Champ | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bray | 191 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Snart Dooly | 178 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | randy | 118 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Frost_Champ | 92 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mr. Trackpad | 78 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | +2.33 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | swen | +1.82 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | Dill | +1.36 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | Frost_Champ | +1.04 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | bray | +0.89 | 72 | 74 |





