








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 978 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1267 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 786 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1180 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,720 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wimp | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | swen | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | GoldTerlets | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | DanielS | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | Samaritans | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Dill | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | Snart Dooly | 41% | 81 |
| #10 | nathan | 32% | 19 |
| #11 | Shiesty | 27% | 15 |
| #12 | dam | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mirage and Me | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Snart Dooly | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Samaritans | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | DanielS | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | swen | 4 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samaritans | 333 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | DanielS | 321 | 0.38 | 11 min |
| #3 | Snart Dooly | 274 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dill | 208 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | Roxin | 168 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swen | +2.82 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | DanielS | +1.45 | 55 | 77 |
| #3 | Mirage and Me | +1.21 | 81 | 50 |
| #4 | nathan | +0.92 | 62 | 72 |
| #5 | Dill | +0.40 | 77 | 62 |





