








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Wingman | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2451 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1622 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1357 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1264 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,433,709 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Believing Walter | 52% | 92 |
| #2 | Fartslinger420 | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Kaptein Sabelsatan | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | Mister Unpersistent | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | Poncho | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaptein Sabelsatan | +1.69 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Mister Unpersistent | +0.92 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Believing Walter | +0.82 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | Fartslinger420 | +0.22 | 76 | 73 |
| #5 | SMAQUILLE O'DEAL | +0.12 | 66 | 37 |





