










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3713 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3467 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3258 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2812 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $864,573 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrone | 50% | 92 |
| #2 | nuke enjoyer | 49% | 85 |
| #3 | Jodツ | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | Don Pollo | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nuke enjoyer | 49% | 85 |
| #3 | Jodツ | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | Don Pollo | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | James | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrone | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Jodツ | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Don Pollo | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | James | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuke enjoyer | 278 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | James | 183 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tyrone | 181 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 178 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jodツ | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maikel | +3.18 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | James | +0.26 | 55 | 69 |
| #3 | Jodツ | -0.42 | 57 | 67 |
| #4 | nuke enjoyer | -0.51 | 73 | 72 |
| #5 | Don Pollo | -0.84 | 62 | 56 |





