








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 656 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 130 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4939 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3945 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4332 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4788 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,214,068 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 411 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James | 50% | 88 |
| #2 | Don Pollo | 50% | 155 |
| #3 | maikel | 48% | 54 |
| #4 | Jodツ | 46% | 80 |
| #5 | nuke enjoyer | 46% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | maikel | 48% | 54 |
| #4 | Jodツ | 46% | 80 |
| #5 | nuke enjoyer | 46% | 154 |
| #6 | Tyrone | 44% | 201 |
| #7 | Kden6 | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrone | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Jodツ | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Kden6 | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Don Pollo | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | nuke enjoyer | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuke enjoyer | 572 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | James | 446 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | Tyrone | 334 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jodツ | 212 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | maikel | 197 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maikel | +3.17 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | James | +2.51 | 64 | 69 |
| #3 | nuke enjoyer | +1.05 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | Jodツ | +0.22 | 59 | 67 |
| #5 | Tyrone | +0.02 | 63 | 65 |





