










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4785 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4531 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3287 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3341 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,614 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 975 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 50% | 88 |
| #7 | Tyrone | 48% | 54 |
| #8 | Don Pollo | 46% | 35 |
| #9 | maikel | 45% | 33 |
| #10 | nuke enjoyer | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 288 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | nuke enjoyer | 169 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | maikel | 141 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | fuck russians | 93 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tyrone | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maikel | +3.53 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | James | +3.38 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | fuck russians | +2.31 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | nuke enjoyer | +1.20 | 73 | 71 |
| #5 | Don Pollo | -0.47 | 67 | 58 |





